A Little More Time

Just give me a little more time to grieve over you, just a little more time until I have completely moved away from whatever it is that's been keeping me trapped in the illusion that there was, and there is us. Just give me a little more time until I forget you and until I am far removed from whatever it is that has been between the two of us...

You and I, individually, we're real, together, we're fiction. I am a woman who was stupefied by the beauty of words and stories, that I allowed myself to fail to recognize the lack of reality from your side. I could never justify myself with all these "I thought"s, for these thoughts should never have occurred in the first place.

I will not think of how I fell for you. And I will not cry over how I've got my heart broken. I will not return and come back. And I will be alright. I will be alright. All these after a little more time. Not just yet, for today, I will let my heart continue to melt in despair and longing. Today, I will indulge myself with torturous thoughts of the past and the fictional future. Today, I still ask God why. Today, I tell Him and admit to Him how it hurts and maybe He could do something with this little, weak organ of mine. Right now,I will still contemplate... and hope. Yes, funny. But the hope is alive within me, sparkling and shining like there could never be anything else breathing but it. What a funny thing that hope could be such a tease, a mocking idea that is in front of me.

You tell me I'm pathetic for being the way I am? Well, I couldn't describe myself with a far better word. That's what I am. Maybe I thought too much, maybe I was a dreamer. Maybe I color everything that were supposed to be left black and gray. And maybe, or really, this is how I was supposed to end up.

Just a little more time. I'm sorry that it's taking too long. Is a little more time too much? Is it enough? Where do I go after that? I don't know, but I pray it's not here anymore. I pray that after this span of time, I can fuel myself to move forward and away, away from everything that is you and me. And after a little more time, I pray I could finally say "so long, old friend".