The graduation of the batch a year ahead mine...

While I consider college graduation events as something remarkable and joyous, I also think of it as something incredibly um, life-changing (?) or... well... I dunno, college grads give me a verrrry strange feeling of excitement and sadness.

Last Saturday, April 27, 2013, the UP Pampanga Chorale was "hired", I mean asked, to sing three pieces for the graduation rites of the Kapampangan Peyups held at the Grand Palazzo Royale, Angeles, Pampanga, in exchange for a delicious dinner (of course, I'd be present). Two of the pieces are the usual, the national anthem and the UP hymn, and the other one was an intermission song. I am proud to say that the piece for the intermission, Ang Tinig Namin, was written & arranged by a co-Chorale member, Kuya Rey Concepcion, and I think it was really good, but we should have practiced it more hehehe turns out we need more o'that.

That was the first time I witnessed a college graduation, and UP's grad for that. O M ... I felt so (strangelyyyy) emotional for them though I know just some of them (since they're a batch ahead) and I'm close to only a few of them... but, I was really happy for them! Really. For me, college grads are not just the happy endings of a 4-7-year college battle, but it's the end of a decade-and-a-half-or-more journey of being a student within the walls of the classrooms within the realms of the schools. 

I can hardly imagine myself getting past being a student! Rrrreeeeaalllyyy, I mean I'll be totally exuberant and all joyful but... it's strange, really, really strange. Some of my earliest memories were set in my preschool, as in since I've had a memory, I know that I've been studying and it's weird to end that journey. All our lives we've been looking forward to that day when we can finally go our own paths, at least most of us, I think, but I think it'll be really saddening to get there. That's what I think, I don't know if the graduates feel that way, too...

HAHAHAHAHA, I suddenly felt embarrassed being gloomier than those who graduated hehe

I feel kinda proud of 'em! After the UP Hymn song, I even absentmindedly jumped and said "Yeeees!"  like I was the one who graduated. Honestly, Shai, what's in your head! Good thing the graduates were so into their own farewells and eye-dabbing moments that what I did didn't matter. No one's really looking anyway haha

Geeeee~  I wanna know how it feels! B U T I have yet two rainy seasons and a summer to pass through before I finally get to that one life-changing summer o'my life (this summer not yet counted), ha! I'll get there, I'll get there!

I think that the graduation ceremony that I'd be most affected will be my batchmates' grad! Hehehehe. For three reasons: 1. I am honestly happy they're going on their careers already and be real grownups 2. I'll miss them so badly since they're a huge family for me, home away from home 3. I envy them, so badly... (These thoughts are ahead of time. I shant be thinking these things nowwwww)

Anyways, here are some of the few shots I got with mah phone last grad. The Chorale's seated in front so, I had only a few snaps:

Me with my "vocal mentor" ehem, Ate Mayey! when we entered the hall :)

Kuya Lucas and Miggy organizing our seats 

The lovely Soprano bellas, ehehehehhermm

Ok, so that's where we will be, beside the stage

The graduates! A view from our place hehehe didn't have enough shots of 'em

With Yna @ the dining hall... This dinner was prepared for the faculty, staff, chorale, and usher/ettes. Well, Yna isn't one of any of those but since some chorale members already left, she grabbed the slot

That's it! C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S  Graduates! May God be with you always!!!!! :)

Summer must be...

The humidity is undeniably a pain and I feel like being Rapunzel trapped home because I just can't take the heat outside. Hello, Pinas!

What to do?
1. Summer Job
2. Summer Class
3. Freelance home-tambay

I feel like I'm the laziest 18-year-old lady in the country because it seems like I'm the only one spending these days at home and yes, I'm still a student so these things may still be bearable and who says a kid must take a job when s/he's not in class when s/he has already spent the schooldays being so "ppppr-ppr-roductive"? But of course, I know I'm not the only one being dull these days... hehe apir sa lahat ng tropang tambay! :)

My body's not doing anything and it just goes um... well... it's something like... yeah, I'm gaining more weight I have to blame it to the comforts of being at home. Well, soon I'll be getting out to the real world (workplace) and will be suffering a lot, so for now, I'll live life like there's no food tomorrow. Cooool.

Anyways, it doesn't mean that my body's fattening up, that I'll allow my mind to go without a workout! Hihi. I'm so happy I've been able to read lots these days and I have to say that I've enjoyed all the novels I've read ever since I've been meaning to be faithful to my 2-books-a-day-2-books-in-2-days self-challenge though they're not all champs. 

Def: 2-books-a-day-2-books-in-2-days means that I have to read 2 books a day and it may always go like this: Today, I will start reading this and prolly end it tomorrow and then I'll start another book again after that, so I'll be reading 2 books a day but not 4 in 2 days, but still 2. Ummmm... it's hard to understand but the logic is easy.

So, I've been doing that and I must say that my reading pace has coped and I'm enjoying all my summer reads!!!! :) So far my favorite among all my summer reads is A Small Free Kiss in the Dark by Glenda Millard because it's awesome. I totally recommend it to all the readers of any genre out there because it's sooo deep and it's good. I really think it's good. Heeeeh~ Anyway, I have to say that I found Graffiti Moon written by Cath Crowley also good. Graffiti Moon because I haven't read a YA and a love story yet since the year started  (except for McEwan's Atonement which I read last Feb. It's a love story but I don't wanna classify it with Graffiti Moon) and it's quite refreshing for me, and the fact that it made me laugh lotsa times throughout reading it and even after I've read it makes it top my summer read list.

Well, so far, those are my summer champs and I resolved to read more and more and more and to avoid watching too much Korean dramas, to which I've been into at the start of the summer, these days. Watching stuff like that make me so dreamy and high schoolish all over again when I'm tryna get past that! Hehe

Apparently, whenever I'm talking/writing, I'm overusing words. Chsh! Anyways, still more than a month before summer ends and I have to make sure that I snatch the most out of this heat! Oyeeeebabes. :)

P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N

Procrastination destroys you. It snatches you out from your organized life. It gives you temporary joy and long suffering. It is a deceiver. It is a very pretty thing that is empty within, so it sucks you into it. It leads you nowhere...

Yea, I hate procrastination.

But yes, I do procrastinate. <///3 My breaking heart is in need of passion...

And I am thinking... college kids do procrastinate but they still graduate...

And the wise old man in me said, "Yes, they do graduate, but in a procrastinated date"


pro·cras·ti·nate  (pr-krst-nt, pr-)

v. pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing, pro·cras·ti·nates

v.intr.

To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

v.tr.

To postpone or delay needlessly.

via thefreedictionary.com

High-Schoolish-Diary-Entry

I don't know if I'm being brat or overly sensitive, but...
Sometimes, I think I am too sensitive because I always cry but what if I am just honestly expressive that I can hardly stop my tears flow...
Not everything that happens from time to time are pleasant, sometimes some things were created to annoy us because if nothing annoys us, nothing will make us pleased, everything is constant, the same...
Humans can NEVER avoid arguments and disagreements as we are "humans"...

LIIIIIIFE. Sometimes, we try to do our hardest to be happy. Sometimes, what we want are just so plain and simple, but even the simplest things can be unattainable...
'Course there are tons of explanations for that, but because I am so/too/very/much/extremely annoyed, I don't want to include them in this post...
At this point, I want to be an authentic brat (though, I know, I know, really), because sometimes I miss being irrational...
Sometimes, I think I am too pleasant to people (when in serious mode, not when I am kidding or "playing"), that what I show is the exact opposite of how I really feel...

In reality, the "un"redeemed me is argumentative, I enjoy debates, and I enjoy twisting and directing a conversation for the benefit of my side...
Most of the times, I can justify myself and people just lose to me, and I observe how they can get too personal in their speeches because they already lost...
Not in bragging or anything, I've got some skills in making logical statements even if they're half-truths...
But because it is not good to oppose people just for the sense of opposing, I don't anymore...
I don't conform or agree with them, but I don't argue, I just state my point in a way that I want to just tell...
I avoided opposing others...
Sometimes, I also feel that because I owned being pleasant, I don't have debate skills anymore...
But sometimes, I miss debating and arguing...

Especially, during days like this...

Sometimes, it could hurt so much that you need to speak up for yourself that a "sorry" won't be enough, even if it is the only thing needed...
Because there are millions of reasons swimming in your head, that you need to speak them up...
People can shoot you bullets that are hard not to counter...

But what happens is that you both end up so hurt that nothing good will come of it...
So you think that you should have opted to be pleasant...
But when you chose to be pleasant, your heart will feel so heavy that it would want to explode...

I think, therefore, for arguments not to erupt, someone has to stoop down and listen...
Just listen...
(Especially, in my case right now, that I am so disappointed because I had an argument with my mom just because of a stupid "ignored" text message containing an utos I failed to do because I overlooked my messages [or I just forgot it] and now I've got this... I haven't answered her back this way for like forever and when I did once, of course the script that says "Lagi kasing gusto nyo kayong tama" suddenly pops up [of course, from her], but that's what I wanna tell herrrr. Ughhhhh. And besides, I only argued against her nowwww. Lalalala)

Just listen...
Whoever you are, whoever I am, whoever who is, a minute to really open the ears for its use is a gigantic help in this community where everyone wants to be right...

Just listen...
Because everyone, in their own right, can be standing on the right point, 'cause nothing can be called really right if it is based from man's perspective...

Just listen...
Not just to what was said but also what was unsaid--understanding...

PS,
(sigh)

A View From Above

Last 11th of March, our Abnormal Psychology class went to Bataan for a field trip. This is my first field trip with my Psych batchmates and here is how it went...

First, we went to Mt. Samat, because it was along the way, and I thought that if one must go Bataan, they shouldn't miss this mountain. Not just because of its natural and scenic experience, but also its vintage and historical feels. It is a not-so-high mountain that has an altar at some point of it, and then a cross at the most top. Here are some documents!

The class prepping to go up! :)

Mt. Samat was already constructed, so it has been a little touched away from its natural appearance, but still, you can feel your on top when you're climbing it.

The view of the cross from the lower part of the mountain

We're already at the altar! The history and I think that smaller frame somewhere in the middle is a map. I didn't read it though.

Posing with a friend, Wyngard. :) I don't know what that thing behind is. But it feels we're somewhere in the Great Wall. Haha

A mosaic glass art. This one is huge. Actually, three walls of the altar are composed of these glass arts.  It is visible on the latter pictures

Defying the heat with our smiles! We're about to go to the mini museum beside the altar, but it wasn't allowed to take pictures there. Sayang! The vintage pieces in the museum are really cool: rifles, soldier uniforms, US presidents' letters to some Filipino gov't officials, canons, old shoes, etc (stuffs during the Japanese occupation)

Way up!

That's the altar! :D View from halfway to the top

The view of the altar when we're almost at the top

The elevator within that giant cross is stuffed!

Scenic view. Romantiiiiic.

The sculptures are scaredovvvme. The weight of my appeal. Okay, I'm already haggard there from climbing all the way up. The wall behind me is a part of the giant cross.

We're inside the giant cross and we're going up to its arms! Cooool. 

We're in the arms of the giant cross! ITWASSSOOOCOOL UP THERE.

Scenic view from above

This round window (which was so in demand  to us for pictorials) is the other end of the cross' arms.

I'm enjoying the view and the really cool breeze! Mehe. The feels is like your in Eiffel Tower. I don't know tho, because never been to Paris. But the major effect of the giant cross is to be a place to view Bataan :)

Altar view from the cross' arm. This is how far we are from the a fourth from the top of the mountain

A monkey! I was surprised we'd find one, then I remembered we're on a mountain. I almost forgot because the place was already constructed in some way.

It's as if the leaves and branches are kissing the clouds and the skies. Wheeeew.

Beeeautiful. I wish that the regular roads I am walking onto are like this!

Hehe

We're on our way down. We took a different route from the ones we took to go up. That was a narrow zigzaggy staircase. This is a turny downward road

This is us! Abnormal Psychology class.

Trees. Lovely really. I was trying to suck the ambiance.

The cool road. I can imagine myself on a bike here, but that's impossible I don't know how to ride one. Ugggh. Romantiiiiic.

After the Mt. Samat stroll, we went to our real goal, to a mental hospital that accommodates patients from Central Luzon, the Mariveles Mental Hospital...

By the entrance.

It wasn't allowed to take pictures inside, so this is just one of the very few pictures we had there. It was cool there, not in the way, I'd want to be admitted there, but in a way that I've learned some things. I am a Psych major for some time now, but I'm still afraid of the possible violence from the mentally ill, but we found out that it wasn't like that. We had the opportunity to talk to some patients there, and it was pretty cool. :)

Yehey, another travel. Another place went to. Wow.

Places within the pages

I started to shrink to unreality these past few days.

When I say unreality, I mean dreams and imaginations or worse, places within the pages. Yes, I don't think they are good for the soul, well anyway, but they could be good, too. I don't really know.

People were given minds that could compensate for their ideas and ideals, so they should be maximized, not be slightly used and not be overused because both extremes could be dysfunctional. Anyway, yeah, I think I may be overusing this little brain sometimes, or probably I just have a huge brain especially made for me, 'cause as far as I am aware, I don't feel any screw loosening yet (And, I could contradict myself easily). Another anyway, I want to go to places I've never been, especially places that could hardly be real because I thought it would be romantic. When you say romantic, it doesn't have to be with a guy, right? A place could be called romantic even if there were no people there (or maybe because couples will actually love it being there? ugh. Devalues the worth).

I'll start with: RIGHT NOW I WANT TO GO PLACES I'VE NEVER BEEN. Imma rant this time.I want to go to Pemberley, to North Carolina (where, interestingly, I've found most love stories written), Green Gables, Maryland, where else, hunh? Oh yes, where was the Secret Garden located? I just wonder to what castle did Cinderella leave her slipper, or the coast roads where protagonists took their twists and turns. The house on the little prairie and other places where Laura Ingalls-Wilder spent her colorful youth. I'm thrilled just thinking about the Cemetery of the Books! Many else. What will I do there then? Just walk along these places and leave my footprints there, or probably live there for a week or two or a year or just a little while will do. Just try to witness what could have happened or what change would there be if a single feature from the place is located differently.

I don't want to imagine though that I am Lizzie Bennett or Anne Shirley, and try to mimic and live their lives. I just want to walk these places as myself rather than pretend be the characters I love. I don't know but I just don't feel like imagining I am a certain character, especially those that I love, it feels creepy and insane. Sometimes, I thought it would be better if I have been there for me to really be a part of the places and for my presence to be a part of other people's imaginations, but I realized I am doing a greater part being the thinker, being the one who imagines it all.

Aww, okay. My thoughts become so excited it explodes to randomness.

Sometimes, I think it does well to think of things which are alien to us, some of these, they really do exist. Of course, some of these are just imaginations. It doesn't do that because we don't see them, they are already fictional. Some exist somewhere within the wide earth, while some of these they do exist, but they are found within the worlds within our thoughts, and some were already part of what's past kept alive by memories and memoirs.

Someday, I know I will get to these places given the chances in life. Well, I could only go physically to the places which are literally real. And who knows who I'm going with. Hahaha

(As I was ending this blog post, I felt like there's music playing, probably the OST for Anne of Green Gables animated. Hahaha)

Some places in the classics (I don't know if the others are just replicas or they are the real ones):

ANNE SHIRLEY'S LIFE:

Anne's fictional room

Green Gables (fictional, I think)

Avonlea entrance

Road along Avonlea

Obviously, the places in Anne's life are my favorites. You've gotta read Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea to understand. Unfortunately, I haven't read the other books yet.

Here are others:

The ever dear SECRET GARDEN (fictional)

North Carolina beach

Little House on the Prairie (production design for the film, I think)

Pemberley (not sure if legit)