moonlight -

moonlight -

where the shadows of grief

and the songs of peace

dance in eloquence

 

moonlight -

where the memories are buried

and the future is built

under the skies' influence

 

 

moonlight -

where the tales of fears

and the drafts of hopes

are trapped in a cadence 

 

. . .

 

Anything that didn't have life cannot die, 

Anything that wasn't first conceived cannot disappear

Everything that has life is vulnerable to death,

But not everything that lives dies

Everything that exists may fade, 

But there are things that have years and lifetimes to last, 

While others spend seconds or minutes at most

If anything that has life may die, 

Are the things that have died capable of living again? 

If anything may disappear, 

Are there those that may possibly be still found? 

Are the paths we walk linear? 

Or there are roads that go in rounds? 

For every story that has ended, 

Can beginnings be opened anew? 

For every mark and period that had been slated, 

Can a tale still continue? 

If there is such discovery in our courses, 

Where mishaps and fails become glories

Then, the hopes in our gaps

Are miracles that wait to be known

- Sarakit

bye, 2020

here we are parting, to our wits' ends

as usual, as had been with the other years

with you, I've learned a different meaning to every rhyme,

have conquered more battles and have shifted dynamically 

the photos I have gathered were not more on the seas and the mountains

but are more of the people, the smiles and their tears, the longings and our desires

this year, I rediscovered childlike faith,

to believe even when my hands cannot do anything

to listen to the song there is when waiting--

because it is wonderful in its aches, truths, and surprises

my adventures were not in stretches and lengths, not on the roads

but were in depths, in insights, in learning, all within

a reroute to the self, to unravel each of my whys

and to make decisions in the present, to reflect my hopes for the future

to have resided inside also meant

I have written (and hidden) more words

and have read and acquainted myself with more books

than I've had in the last half-decade

in all that there is, I have realized gratitude

a new tune to it, a new form of it

that it doesn't rely on the circumstance

and it always, always rests on perspective

everyday, faith, hope, and love--

I realized, if breathed in and out makes one the most beautiful

that it makes the eyes see, the ears hear, and the heart feel

the greatest miracles ever told- that ever happened /even/ in the darkest of times

Day 47

temporary, new

all things are gray and blue

walls are the sky's limit

minds endlessly anticipate

the whens and hows are fickle

the whos and whys are ungentle

all under the lack of sun

sort, track them down

thoughts that before us frown

oh, where's reality

here, with time, it will flee

truth shall set light one day

these hands will break free

all over the hope for sun

one day, someday

our faces before each other

it will yet be, this future

Voices

I've learned to modify and discern voices

If you listen closely,

You would know there's a lot to them

There are those which try to be calm

And those which have been trained to calm

Listen to those which rage with emotions

And those who take pride in its sanguine joviality

Have you been attracted

To those who flatter and intimidate with its confidence?

And those who arouse with its mysteriousness?

But there are those who show

Nothing beyond what's visible to the naked eye

Let through that which pierces

Oh, wouldn't you want 

A voice of kindness which says, "I understand"?

There are those which say too much

And those who could have said more

Voices of exhaustion and of innocence

Sometimes, well, more often than not, meet aboard

And yet

I have thought it fatal to let go
And yet it has proven even more excruciating to have held on
I have thought it wise to let my heart show
And yet it has been stared at, rejected, ignored 'til it's faded to nothing
Everyday, I yearn for something more
And yet I see that circumstances become more unbearable
I feel the pain grip my heart from it surface down to its shadows
And yet I have chosen to remain and to stay
I have no idea where I am placed and where I should stand
And yet I have willed myself to fight on
I know I have chosen and have made a decision
And yet I always wonder if it's the best thing, if it's worth anything...

09 01 17

A new season has been birthed to
One we have always known
Giving the impression of hope and beginning
But not adamant to what has passed by
The morning has not been too far away
From the evening that has died
Its distance having space enough
To eavesdrop from yesterday's whispers

Dim Lights

(a "currently" kind of post)

= the skies have been changing their hues

 sometimes with a chance of rain

 together with a couple of teardrops

 or a bright shiny yellowy day

 in tandem with your tricky smiles

= time has made good out of its run

 never tired and always forward

 calling me to go after it 

 spoiling itself when it's not eating me up

 avoiding trivialities and always about

= the questions have all been used up

 willing to complete the whole of life a series

 with the answers still finding their way

 to be tossed up and to appear

 one day, always unexpected

= craving for freedom and beauty

 when realities fall somewhere in between

 imagination and memory

 when all is a haze and a daze

 while waiting for what follows after "therefore"

070117

Not quite sure for how much longer
Will this space keep on urging me
To fill it back in with the piece it's missing

Not quite sure for how much further
Would the time be for me to see
What's waiting beyond the series of nows

Not quite sure for how much deeper
Will the pain keep on growing within
Lacking needed remorse and gentleness

062017

Trying to perceive
How much it is you have for me
Because even despite the words you've said
I wonder for how long will you stay and be there

I don't mean to doubt
What you claimed to be real
But I cannot help it if I can barely trust
Anyone: not you, not me, nor the words we can say

I tend to get lost
In puzzles and in wonders
Amused and redirected by their surfaces
Despite knowing that I want more than just your fragments

061617 Thoughts in longing

Of lives and puzzles

And of sorrows and longings

This being has tried to comprehend 

A great wondering

On how absence can launch the search

To that which once has been 

And that which has never been

Which is more to cause the emptiness?

The absence of what has just left

Or the nothingness of an idea

What lessons should be instilled?

Is there a should for a confused heart?

If maybe this being will turn back 

To all she has thought of once

And have stood upon,

Will the turmoil be straightened out

And the adventure be stilled?

Why must you

Oh why must you

Lead me to try to veil my thoughts

To want to retract back to my shell

And to be fearful of what's ahead

Oh why must you,

In every attempt I make

To let you into my space,

Take that step into it

Oh why must you

Think that it's nothing to me

Assume my resilience

And stride so senselessly

Oh why must you

Tell me the whispers within

To get me an entry into

The expanse you occupy

Oh why must you

Send me running to sleep

Visit me in it

And wake me up from it

Oh why must you

Be that...

To whom I am...

When it could have been another

Why must you...

If you knew my heart...

If you knew my heart
And the wonders it seeks answers for,
The tales it keeps
And the mysteries it can unveil,
The truths it conceals,
Your eyes would perceive me as an inquiry

If you knew my heart
With all the hopes it cradles,
The loves it hid away,
The emotions it locked in swiftly
And its longings that haven't been satisfied,
You would pay attention and sincerely listen

If you knew my heart
And the neediness within it,
Wrapped with all the attempts to speak out,
The chances it would wanna take
And its daily set of failures,
You would know, oh you would understand...

No more

Succumbing to thoughts of afar

Filling the heart with some hope to entitlement

To an object which once had a name

But now is a testimony of what's long gone

"I remember" is but a subtle attempt

To craft into the present what has been

Time has just perfected its turn

Giving what has been the label, Memory

110916

Early morning sun rises

To shine through 

The lids of the windows---

To coax a sleepy being

Out to stretch its limbs---

As it wonders about

The framework for its design

And as it marvels at

The timeline it is walking in---

Calling to mind 

What it has dreamed of

And what it has not meant--

Things beyond its length

Those which slip 

It towards to,

And off its ground.

090116

Barely lit rooms
Bare feet
Turned left
Turning tables
Short breathing
Shortened moments
Wondering on truths
Wonders witnessed
Chest chained
Chests uncovered
Leaves cluttered
Leafing pages
Stretched hopes
Stretches of time
Lying on a couch
Lies to conceal
Worn out heart
Wearing fragments

"One day, I'll fall in love"

"One day, I'll fall in love"

And the wilted flowers are to bloom
While the storms will dance beneath the sun
The waves will crash the mountain peaks
And the days will never meet the nights

"One day, I'll fall in love,"

Screamed a lady trapped up above
Cried a little boy running in the streets
Said a man living with a paper and the pen
Whispered a woman who knew no one

"One day, I'll fall in love..."

And you will join me in the ride,
Finding out the best is always the next
And the next, and the next, and the next
As long as it's you and me, and that one day next.

2 27 16

Two days to the third of the sixteenth
Way beyond my twenty-first
Almost to the twenty-second

= Wondering why it's all circles
   With me looping all over the same
    Tiring antics of life

= Concluding that ties are the cause
   Of the most exhausting emotions
   In living this existence

= Escaping what's in front of me
   Thinking that I could do better
   Have I been granted wings
   (With the ability to direct the
   way the air blows)

= Breathing in gaps and in depths
  Thrusting my diaphragm for air
   Because I am falling short of it

= Wishing that everything is reversible
   Or convertible at the very best
   That things could be more acceptable

Fifteenth of the Second of the Sixteenth

tonight
as the new day is being given birth to
that which had never been yet
I want to savour the melancholy of the dark
to get hazy with music
and to watch the night die down
and wait the morning arising
to be in words
to be the words
and to feel beauty
in being nothing
to love the conjunctions of time
those which are unnoticed but exist
the wee hours passing
later
the day will have been completed
and this moment forgotten
but at least I had it 
and I have been part of its moving stillness

I hope humans would be more honest to me

via

Describe a daze and what it is about

Tell me a thing or two about thoughts

Is it just human nature or human frailty

But I am all torn and confused by you

Speak with your eyes beholding mine

Because honesty is still what honors me

Say it despite that it will pierce through 

Or maybe you can hardly do as asked

Afraid, that it will turn to define you

What's got you tongue-tied and hesitant

Your words for me are heard by the air

I am listening and open to rebuke

Just speak it to me, just... speak it to me