Kilala Kita

Tila nagdilim ang kulay ng kalangitan

Dating bughaw ay naging maruming puti

Tumanaw ako sa kung ano'ng nasa taas

Ikaw ba ay nariyan pa

Tinawag Mo ang aking ngalan

Hinawakan ang aking kamay

Isa-isang hakbang, ako'y Iyong inaakay

"Kilala kita," bulong ng Iyong puso sa akin

"Tunay nga ba?" batid kong nakatingin

Ipinakita Mo sa akin ang kalangitan

Na nagbago na ng anyo

"Nakikita mo ba 'yan?" Iyong tanong

"Hindi na gaya ng dati," pailing kong bulong
Tinignan Mo ako nang may luha
"Hindi man gaya ng dati, 
Ngunit may natatanging kariktan."

"Ano ang nais Mo mula sa akin?" aking hinagpis
"Ang makita mong Ako ay nagmamahal sa'yo"
Patuloy ang aking pagluha
"Kilala kita," sinabi Mong muli.

"Ano ang kailangan Mo sa akin?" aking pagdududa
"Ang iyong puso at ang iyong mga luha"
"Pagkatapos...?"
"Huhubugin kita sa wangis na Aking nais sa iyo."

Paano pa ba na ako'y magtiwala
Kung narinig ko lahat ng piraso ng aking puso
Bumagsak at nawala

"Magtiwala ka sapagkat kilala kita."
Ako ay tumango at humakbang pasulong,
Patungo sa iyo...

"Kilala kita. Mahal kita."

Hindi pa rin buo ang kasiguruhan sa akin
Ngunit makikinig sa Iyo
Sapagkat nagawa Mong makausap ang puso
At maipakita ang Iyong pagsuyo

Muli, iyong sinambit, "Kilala kita. Mahal kita."

Kung Maaari Lamang

Heto, doon, teka at huwag muna
Ano nga bang sabi ko sa'yo
Oo, ngunit
Akala ko pa naman
Hindi ba dapat ay

Mga tinig
Na minsang humarana
Kay neneng walang ibang nais
Kundi ang katahimikan
Sa sulok ng kanyang
Gawa-gawang kuwadra
Na unti-unting pinalabas
At ang mga palaisipang kinimkim
Sa kanya'y pinabigkas
Palakpak at mga tugon ng tawa
"Heto at sya'y kakaiba
Tila ang dami nyang kaya"
Unti-unting naubos ang kamuwangan
Nang dalhin sa mundo
Ng mga pangarap at pagbagsak
Sumulong at sumubok
Ang pagtingin sa sarili'y
Unti-unting naging mataas
Pagsasalita'y naging matatas
Nalimot ang kahapong
Nasa likod ng mga pader
At ang buhay ay naging usap-usapan
Ang pagtingin sa iba
Ay napuno ng pangmamaliit
Kung paanong ang iba ay tumingin
Sya na ring kanyang naging paghusga

Hanggang sa sya na
Ang hindi kaaya-aya
Nakagawa ng mga bagay na sa iba'y di katanggap-tanggap
Naibagsak ang mga pagtangi
At napuno ng poot sa sarili
Ang dating nene ay nagtanong
"Sino na nga ba ako
Bakit ganito na ang daigdig"
Puso'y napuno ng lungkot
Nawala ang kumpiyansa
Na ibinigay ng syang mga taong
Sa kanya'y bumasag

Bumalik, nene, ikaw ay bumalik na
Tawag ng kanyang kuwadra
Tara dito at magtsaa
Habang nakamudmod ang mukha
Sa iyong mga aklat
Tara dito at alalahanin
Ang maliliit na bagay na iyong itinangi
Tara dito at bigyang oras
Ang mga pusong sayo'y may kilala
Kung maaari lang ay huwag nang muling lumabas
At itago na lamang muli ang palaisipan

Ngunit ang buhay ay patuloy
Nene, ikaw ay isa nang dalaga
Ang iyong mga kabasagan ay hindi na mababago
Kahit na hilinging kung maaari lamang
Malayo na ang mundong naibukas
'Wag ka nang bumalik sa iyong kuwadra
Ngunit itiklop na ang tainga
Sa mga tinig na syang nanghalina

Ikaw ay tunay na mahalaga
Ngunit hindi dahil sabi nila
May katangian at pagkatao
Na ang pinanggagalingan
Ay ang Syang naglikha
Magpatuloy, ngunit maari  mong dalhin
Ang mga sa kuwadra'y nakabinbin
Upang iyong hindi malimot
Ang nasa kaibuturan ng pagkatao
Ikaw ay maaari pang magpatuloy
Ikaw ay mahalaga
Ikuwintas ang pag-asa

At tara, heto
Kahit anong inakala
At sabi-sabi
Eto ka, nene, papunta doon
At patuloy

09 01 17

A new season has been birthed to
One we have always known
Giving the impression of hope and beginning
But not adamant to what has passed by
The morning has not been too far away
From the evening that has died
Its distance having space enough
To eavesdrop from yesterday's whispers

062017

Trying to perceive
How much it is you have for me
Because even despite the words you've said
I wonder for how long will you stay and be there

I don't mean to doubt
What you claimed to be real
But I cannot help it if I can barely trust
Anyone: not you, not me, nor the words we can say

I tend to get lost
In puzzles and in wonders
Amused and redirected by their surfaces
Despite knowing that I want more than just your fragments

061617 Thoughts in longing

Of lives and puzzles

And of sorrows and longings

This being has tried to comprehend 

A great wondering

On how absence can launch the search

To that which once has been 

And that which has never been

Which is more to cause the emptiness?

The absence of what has just left

Or the nothingness of an idea

What lessons should be instilled?

Is there a should for a confused heart?

If maybe this being will turn back 

To all she has thought of once

And have stood upon,

Will the turmoil be straightened out

And the adventure be stilled?

Why must you

Oh why must you

Lead me to try to veil my thoughts

To want to retract back to my shell

And to be fearful of what's ahead

Oh why must you,

In every attempt I make

To let you into my space,

Take that step into it

Oh why must you

Think that it's nothing to me

Assume my resilience

And stride so senselessly

Oh why must you

Tell me the whispers within

To get me an entry into

The expanse you occupy

Oh why must you

Send me running to sleep

Visit me in it

And wake me up from it

Oh why must you

Be that...

To whom I am...

When it could have been another

Why must you...

If you knew my heart...

If you knew my heart
And the wonders it seeks answers for,
The tales it keeps
And the mysteries it can unveil,
The truths it conceals,
Your eyes would perceive me as an inquiry

If you knew my heart
With all the hopes it cradles,
The loves it hid away,
The emotions it locked in swiftly
And its longings that haven't been satisfied,
You would pay attention and sincerely listen

If you knew my heart
And the neediness within it,
Wrapped with all the attempts to speak out,
The chances it would wanna take
And its daily set of failures,
You would know, oh you would understand...

011117

Humihiling ng isang baluting hahagkan sa maaaring masaktan

Upang magsilbing panangga sa maaaring makalapit at manakit

Ang pag-asa'y mula sa kaibuturan at may paunti-unting kinang

Humahanap ng lunas sa mga papayapa na, na sana ay humupa na

Ang paglipas ng pag-ibig at ng tinuran na kapayapaan

Labis ang pait at pighati nag-uugat sa hindi maunawaan

Para saan pa't nagaganap ang hindi kaaya-aya, para saan pa?

Kung maaari na lamang na lumisan at magbalat kayo

Nang sa ganoon ay maglaho na ang lahat nang tuluyan

090116

Barely lit rooms
Bare feet
Turned left
Turning tables
Short breathing
Shortened moments
Wondering on truths
Wonders witnessed
Chest chained
Chests uncovered
Leaves cluttered
Leafing pages
Stretched hopes
Stretches of time
Lying on a couch
Lies to conceal
Worn out heart
Wearing fragments

Phases Faces Paces

Tila ba mga bulong na walang tinig

Mga guni-guning umaaligid

Hindi mawari para saan pa't may alaala

Lumisan nga ngunit yapak ay nariyan pa

Naririnig ang dating kwentuhan

Mga biro at tawa ay palakasan

"Halika't doo'y samahan mo ako"

"Tara," at iiwan ang inuupuang bangko

At kapag ang araw ay nagdaan,

Sa may karinderya'y mag-aayaan

Bibili ng isang platitong ulam

Na siyang paghahati-hatian

Mga wasak na puso'y tila mga sinulid

Na siyang humahatak mula sa kun anumang gawain

"Ang puso ko ay puno ng pighati"

"Tara, at sa tindahan tayo magpalipas ng gabi"

At pupunuin ng mga pangarap ang puso

Aawit at magbibigay ng mga payo

Na minsan ay kalokoha't katatawanan

Madalas nama'y may aral na kapupulutan

At ngayon, ako ay nasa isang silid

Ang oras ay tumatakbo ng walang pasabi

Sa aking gunita, kayo ay namamasyal

Nananatili, naglalaro, at tila hindi lilisan 

People Speak to People

The stretch of time has been visible
Though unfathomable
There has been so much in words
But incomprehensible
And as the whole city is observed
There is a hope beheld
And though there are only angsts
There will be a light upheld

You tell me, 'My fingers are ten'
I ask, so what is it for
I ask you, is there anything you live for
You say, 'My hours are consumed'
There is a heavy and empty banter above
There is thirst and hunger around
There is so much wisdom hanging on paper
Nothing is done to thine wisdom's vapor

One day you will wake up and say
'I have so much words and my fingers are not bent'
And as you look around the steady high tides
Mist will cover the opening of your eyes

Fifteenth of the Second of the Sixteenth

tonight
as the new day is being given birth to
that which had never been yet
I want to savour the melancholy of the dark
to get hazy with music
and to watch the night die down
and wait the morning arising
to be in words
to be the words
and to feel beauty
in being nothing
to love the conjunctions of time
those which are unnoticed but exist
the wee hours passing
later
the day will have been completed
and this moment forgotten
but at least I had it 
and I have been part of its moving stillness

A Short Passing of A Moment

In a haze, it was tried to unveil the lids of two drooping shells
To try to spill ink to a sheet of a welcoming leaf
What is there is a bunch of narrations coupled with desires
To pluck the anguish solidified and hiding from the core
Just to deliver a moment out in the open
That which happens but is without a witness
The one which stays but cannot be used for guidance
It has been tried to be left to be with the footsteps
But has come along with the length of the trail ahead
And when another set of confusions is up and coming
The shells are now ready to rest and doze deep into the night

What to say

via

  Clouds have covered that which is beating
  And all that is seen are those which are fleeting
  Remember the queries that you spent solving
  All burst into a big gray space called nothing

  Spend, will you, time for meaningless
  And all you have in the end is a hill of no sense
  The roads are ran and are misty and dense
  Winds confirmed to that which is other than best

  The cares and thoughts slowly disappear
  Leaving a once dreamer stopping to wonder
  If hope is fatal and life is a response to a dare
  You will find yourself in a hanging somewhere

  If you move apart from where you stay
  And let all in your head be and go away
  Cast it before to where it must truly lay
  Maybe now and ahead will be bright as day

Poem on Lovely Things

I wait for joyful things,

The greens and yellows,

And those long wanderings.

I expect good seasons,

The sun in summers,

And the rains when it pours.

I love smiles and laughters,

The short holidays,

And those wild adventures.

I breathe in melodies, 

The sound of dry tears,

And the tuned memories.

Monday with Him

Seeker of my heart
The One I long for
You whose love goes beyond life
And whose wonders are beyond skies
My all, I give You

How can I be more faithful to You?
I mused upon these words
How can I love You better?
I asked Your holiness

Is there any way?
When my heart is tainted,
And when I am always away
When my love is failing,
And I always go my own way

You are higher than the highest
Yet you love devotedly
You are mightier than the best
Yet you know me completely

Teach me to look at You 
And to love You until for ever
To hold on to You,
Even when it goes steeper

Let me sing with my life
And dance with my heartbeats
Let every breath that I take
Be a solemn offering
Before the King, the Highest, and the Loveliest

Broken Phone

The broken phone
With all its functions in it
The broken phone
And its value within
Brought all the importance it holds
Down to its brokenness and sorrows
From the messages it could have received
To the people stored in it
To the connectivity of all sorts
To the alarm that will never be heard

Funny how its brokenness
Could have brought melancholy to its proprietress
It was one early Saturday morning
That have been missed
A morning that could have gone differently
Had the phone not been broken
Had it been fixed and working
It could have been spent spent with glee
And the whole weekend dearly

But the phone was broken
And boy, did it bring her weekend heart with it

4 / 24

There's a hollow box containing coldness
Somewhere in the passage of my voice
Along where my breathing comes and goes
I tried to let it all out to free myself
From the questions it is packed with
But the more I do, the colder the air becomes

I feel a thousand hot daggers in my chest
All in the size of the biggest needles
The heat of the blades burn the surface
I try to pull it off to rid myself of it
To take the puzzles afar and away
But the more I do, the hotter the pain becomes

Written

Your words ink

Memories into my heart

Printing permanency

To promises

That will

Never be forgotten

Carrying on

To all

The tomorrows

I'll have

Remembering

And Falling

For you

I would be glad if

I would be glad if

I could just

Shove this stone

Off

Which is dominating

My core

That even the touch

Of cloth

Would provoke

The sting 

It holds

I would be glad if

I could just

Let you know

That

I am contemplating

My rules

That one word 

From you

Would provoke

The emotions

I hold