People Speak to People

The stretch of time has been visible
Though unfathomable
There has been so much in words
But incomprehensible
And as the whole city is observed
There is a hope beheld
And though there are only angsts
There will be a light upheld

You tell me, 'My fingers are ten'
I ask, so what is it for
I ask you, is there anything you live for
You say, 'My hours are consumed'
There is a heavy and empty banter above
There is thirst and hunger around
There is so much wisdom hanging on paper
Nothing is done to thine wisdom's vapor

One day you will wake up and say
'I have so much words and my fingers are not bent'
And as you look around the steady high tides
Mist will cover the opening of your eyes

Saturday Gets Real Stylez*

It's 10 minutes to Sunday, and I am gonna write down some (not-so-)fun facts I've concluded about myself throughout the day.

Note: These facts are stuff about me I am not willing to live wit hfor the rest of this month up until the rest of my life.

1. I cannot comply to routine. In a damaging way.

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Let me start by saying it's not cool. Well, it used to be. When life is all about me and me getting to do things I wanna do upon a signal sent from one of my dendrites to its axon to another one of my dendrites to... I mean, it was always by impulse. Well, to cut myself some slack, wise responses to impulses, which only become unwise due to their timing and being random and unplanned. Being chill and doing things unplanned is pretty fun, but not when you're working and living a life of being an adult. My point is that I don't have to live in routine, but I shouldn't live with no routines in. It's making my life totally disastrous to have routines, but it's making me inefficient and ineffective when I fail to comply to routines, which in turn, might (haven't happened in a major way yet) mess up not just my life but everyone else's around me. It would take me years to explain how routine can help, but it sure can... I just have to figure it out.

2. I am more sleepy than restless.

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I mean restless as in restless-to-go-and-explore-the-world mood. This is the number 1 saddest fact I have concluded about myself today. It was actually just a few minutes ago when I realized it. I want to be creative and be productive in response to it, but no, my mind has a lot of things it wants to work on, but it just ends up wanting to sleep more than do something that might be world-changing (Gina Linetti mode on). Look, I have these dreams of being an artist of words in some way, but it seems like I'm ready to flip them all over for a good night's sleep (or even an afternoon nap). And I am so dreamy (which might be from me being always sleepy), I don't understand why I cannot be more passionate and driven.

  
3. I don't like going anywhere on Sundays.

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Okay. For people who know me, this might sound surprising. But for people who really really know me (which I think are just me and God (and God's not counted because)), this is a fact. Sunday is like an extension of Saturday to me. On Saturdays, I get really hazy from watching movies/TV series, reading, getting cozy, and all that stuff which lead me to being up late on Sundays, which lead me to being so annoyed at the idea of being somewhere else than bed on a Sunday morning. And the anticipation of a week ahead makes me want to have Sunday all for myself alone. I know, I know, I know. It's not good. I have to learn how to rest, and rest in the Lord in this context. And I am going to fight this off. I will. I will. I will.


4. I've got more mirror neurons than I should have.

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I really have to stop my mirror neurons before they get me into trouble. Mirror neurons are those responsible for humans imitating and going after the people they actually like. Not "like like", just "like". This is the ones that would best explain how having a role model works and maybe even fangirling. So, I have this very easy way of imitating voices and even moves. And recently, I have been finding Gina Linetti soooo adorable. //Gina is from Brooklyn Nine Nine, a series I am currently SO in love with, to the point that I am cooking a post about Amy and Jake, one of its couples. *Plus to the point that I made a reference about it on my Stylez up there, plus the one in #2//. Gina is so adorable, I want to reenact her into my real life. And I feel like I've been blatantly sarcastic in the past few days (I'm normally sarcastic, but in a more gentle manner if not secretly), just like Gina is. Now, I hope it's just her adorable fashion I would channel.

Phew. It is not easy to have these traits eliminated, but at the very least, I hope to have them managed and controlled.

Resolutions, of course

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Alright. I've got more of Mindset Resolutions for the coming year. I've always had those which are more concrete (and golly, is it hard to get any of them accomplished) and more detailed. But this time, I realized I want to start with the mindset. I cannot ever manipulate myself to do things which are not according to my principles, beliefs, and heartbeats (yeah).


1. The value of a yes by saying "No."

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Okay. I'm not a Yes-man or whatever. I don't say yes to things just because I feel bad turning requests down. I do it because it REALLY is totally fine with me. I get hyped up when I feel like I'm being productive, I don't feel bad about myself. Not because I wanna show off that I can do it, but because I just wanna do it. I feel like I am not messing with my schedule or something. Saying yes to stuff mean that I really wanna do it. But recently, through the heartbreaks along these Yes's, I've been seeing that I CANNOT do everything. Try as I might, I am up to a certain threshold alone, and beyond that is the breaking point.

If I learn how to say "No.", I would be able to get exposed to more opportunities and more chances for other things.


2. Do not supervise people, launch them.

This has made a great impact in my thinking and strategizing. I just heard of this two days ago, and I decided that I will include it in one of the things I wanna develop in myself. Being in a role of coaching and helping youth to become leaders put me in difficult "circumstances" and "challenges" of handling people. This one came from one of our global leaders in our company. I must say this will come in very handy.

3. If you have a vision, discipline yourself...

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...because you'd want to take care of everything within and around you to help you see your vision happen. This is the newest idea to my list. I was talking to my aunt this morning and she asked me about my vision  and then my gift. I said that my perceived gift is contrary to my character at times, I tend to fail to control myself from doing things that might exploit the beauty of my gift, and then she told me that. Which TOTALLY MAKES SENSE.

 I have heard of different advice on being disciplined, but no one has ever phrased it the way that made me so compelled I want to change abruptly. And this simple line with simple words totally nailed it. It made me scared and guilty thinking that I've been wasting resources relative to myself that make the paths to my visions and dreams blurry and crazy. So, here is a good meal for the soul.


This is the first time I wrote a resolutions list which contains only mindset on stuff. And I think it's good. We have to start with our thinking, we have to start with our hearts. We might try our hardest to reach our goals in life, try to improve ourselves, but unless we start with the core of it all, we might never be able to establish ourselves in the changes we want to see ourselves in.

Journey to Being Lady Kate... ehem

Every move I make, every step I take (these past few days), something keeps on bugging me: BEING A LADY. Haha. Define "lady", (google google google)

 Lady - n. woman regarded as proper or virtuous, a well-behaved young girl

From The Free Dictionary

Oh well, no discussions needed, I am far from being that "noun", but I want to be that now. I am eighteen, and I don't feel like I am acting my age. I am acting well, a little years back. I think my age though, I just don't feel like I act it. It's kinda hard to explain. 

This thought's been bothering me like forever, I want to be there. Segway: I like to be a little old-fashioned, so I keep saying "being a lady". 

So, how? How could I be a lady? I've been having these mental notes of to-stop's and to-improve's and to-be's among my actions so I'll be an official lady. Hahaha. This dilemma is really weird.

Here are my proposed steps:

1. Stop running along the corridors.

2. Stop yelling (be gentle, I mean).

3. Improve laughing (be more lady-like. If you know what I mean)

4. Improve walking (walk like a queen, even if you're almost late [ugggghhhh, can I do this?])

5. Stop thumbsucking (if I can control it)

6. Improve talking (talk like you make lotsa sense and lotsa money [huh?])

7. Be organized.

8. Stop being so emotional

9. Be pleasant to people

10. Be cheerful (well, I alread have this. OA na nga eh)

11. Would it do if I would go to the CR from time to time and check how I look like?

12. Stop quitting and man (or lady) up

13. Improve self in things I like to do (eg writing, singing, befriending, fashion designing)

14. Improve in learning.

15. Improve eating style (hahahahow?)

16.

17.

18.

I've got other ways that I can hardly put into words. These are the physical manifestations of being a lady for me, if you're not this person, it will be very hard to cope into an all-new set of habits and ways, so there is one key that will reach into the depth of dealing with this journey:

 IT MUST COME FROM THE HEART

Cheese out. Haha. Well, really, if it's not you, you must want to be it. If it won't come from the heart, it would be useless, somewhere along the road, you'll get tired and get back to where you started. Haha. If it really is coming from within, it will reflect on your outward look. The inward us is the best trigger on how we do things. :)

Being a lady is a tough work especially with these child's minds in us. Haha (Or is it just me?). I think the best reason why I can't get past childhood is I like being there. I enjoy the flexibility, the cheerfulness, the lightness... the humility, honesty and all things that make childhood seem white, but I must kick these flats off me, and wear my heels. It's time! Yea. I really need to convince myself that I'm no more a child. :) Bon voyage! 

HappyNewYearBoooom! :)

Okay. Hey, 2013. I hope we'll get along well. Yay.

13 New Year's Resolution (no order really):
1. Be a lady (this resolution still has subs on it. Too lazy to write 'em all down, so I guess let's just wait for results)
2. Study more diligently
3. Be more organized
4. Help in the household chores
5. Don't miss a single thing (whatever it is 'cept gossip, I can miss that)
6. Control tongue
7. Read 70 novels
8. Write with passion! (Please, please, please)
9. Treat everyone special everyday.
10. Save money!
11. Limit time spent on internet
12. Love purely, selflessly, honestly
13. MOST IMPORTANTLY, grow more into love in Christ

Well, I don't really know what it means to have um, a NY's resolution. Is it something that we want to see or what we want to do? Well, even my question was confusing. He he. Anyways, I just surrender it all to God. It is never easy to do something, especially when it involves change. Most of the times, we do not need to wait for another year to come for us to get into change, we have to get into it soon as we found out that the sack we're in isn't the right one.

I want to feel an overwhelming and pure joy throughout this year and the years to come. When I look back, it seems like too much happened when it feels like it was just 2012 few days ago, well, life. Hihi.

I guess we just have to make and grab the most out of it.