What I Wanted To Say

I wanna talk. And say things. But it feels like all these thoughts are entangled in my head. I resolved to just write them, but it's crazy, because it feels like I need to come up with an outline just to produce something which makes sense. There's just too much in so little.

Would you mind if you just stay here for a whi

I like remembering your smile--that which annoys me hundred times...

I don't wanna talk about this...

But it annoys me that nothing seems therapeutic enough to let me get over these thoughts with--

I'm having this internal battle. I think I'm headed to being crazy. Oh, I think. I already am there.

I cannot measure the days as to something which is equivalent to the capacity to move forward. For as I have proven, and despite that I tried to forget all about it, to feel different, despite that this disgusts me on a VERY HIGH level, I still find myself lingering over things about---

Your very presence--that which I look for--annoys me. So deeply. Am I a fool?

And I feel like I have been linking myself with the things I should have been avoiding. Darn the holes.

I've been trying to come up with a riddle-ish set of words, but this time, I just wanna be straightforward and be honest about matters.

I feel like I've l---d and lost, and I'm still losing. Without even giving. Please.

I just have to breathe in deeply most times and try to exhale it all out. But it's so crazy because hardest might I try, it remains.

I miss you. And I couldn't miss you better than when you're in front of me, yet you still are so distant. 

Again, I wanna quit on talking about this.

But I feel like I have to.

I might just have to stop here.


PS, Skate Penny going hopelessly (shamelessly) hopeless over something called---