High-Schoolish-Diary-Entry

I don't know if I'm being brat or overly sensitive, but...
Sometimes, I think I am too sensitive because I always cry but what if I am just honestly expressive that I can hardly stop my tears flow...
Not everything that happens from time to time are pleasant, sometimes some things were created to annoy us because if nothing annoys us, nothing will make us pleased, everything is constant, the same...
Humans can NEVER avoid arguments and disagreements as we are "humans"...

LIIIIIIFE. Sometimes, we try to do our hardest to be happy. Sometimes, what we want are just so plain and simple, but even the simplest things can be unattainable...
'Course there are tons of explanations for that, but because I am so/too/very/much/extremely annoyed, I don't want to include them in this post...
At this point, I want to be an authentic brat (though, I know, I know, really), because sometimes I miss being irrational...
Sometimes, I think I am too pleasant to people (when in serious mode, not when I am kidding or "playing"), that what I show is the exact opposite of how I really feel...

In reality, the "un"redeemed me is argumentative, I enjoy debates, and I enjoy twisting and directing a conversation for the benefit of my side...
Most of the times, I can justify myself and people just lose to me, and I observe how they can get too personal in their speeches because they already lost...
Not in bragging or anything, I've got some skills in making logical statements even if they're half-truths...
But because it is not good to oppose people just for the sense of opposing, I don't anymore...
I don't conform or agree with them, but I don't argue, I just state my point in a way that I want to just tell...
I avoided opposing others...
Sometimes, I also feel that because I owned being pleasant, I don't have debate skills anymore...
But sometimes, I miss debating and arguing...

Especially, during days like this...

Sometimes, it could hurt so much that you need to speak up for yourself that a "sorry" won't be enough, even if it is the only thing needed...
Because there are millions of reasons swimming in your head, that you need to speak them up...
People can shoot you bullets that are hard not to counter...

But what happens is that you both end up so hurt that nothing good will come of it...
So you think that you should have opted to be pleasant...
But when you chose to be pleasant, your heart will feel so heavy that it would want to explode...

I think, therefore, for arguments not to erupt, someone has to stoop down and listen...
Just listen...
(Especially, in my case right now, that I am so disappointed because I had an argument with my mom just because of a stupid "ignored" text message containing an utos I failed to do because I overlooked my messages [or I just forgot it] and now I've got this... I haven't answered her back this way for like forever and when I did once, of course the script that says "Lagi kasing gusto nyo kayong tama" suddenly pops up [of course, from her], but that's what I wanna tell herrrr. Ughhhhh. And besides, I only argued against her nowwww. Lalalala)

Just listen...
Whoever you are, whoever I am, whoever who is, a minute to really open the ears for its use is a gigantic help in this community where everyone wants to be right...

Just listen...
Because everyone, in their own right, can be standing on the right point, 'cause nothing can be called really right if it is based from man's perspective...

Just listen...
Not just to what was said but also what was unsaid--understanding...

PS,
(sigh)

A View From Above

Last 11th of March, our Abnormal Psychology class went to Bataan for a field trip. This is my first field trip with my Psych batchmates and here is how it went...

First, we went to Mt. Samat, because it was along the way, and I thought that if one must go Bataan, they shouldn't miss this mountain. Not just because of its natural and scenic experience, but also its vintage and historical feels. It is a not-so-high mountain that has an altar at some point of it, and then a cross at the most top. Here are some documents!

The class prepping to go up! :)

Mt. Samat was already constructed, so it has been a little touched away from its natural appearance, but still, you can feel your on top when you're climbing it.

The view of the cross from the lower part of the mountain

We're already at the altar! The history and I think that smaller frame somewhere in the middle is a map. I didn't read it though.

Posing with a friend, Wyngard. :) I don't know what that thing behind is. But it feels we're somewhere in the Great Wall. Haha

A mosaic glass art. This one is huge. Actually, three walls of the altar are composed of these glass arts.  It is visible on the latter pictures

Defying the heat with our smiles! We're about to go to the mini museum beside the altar, but it wasn't allowed to take pictures there. Sayang! The vintage pieces in the museum are really cool: rifles, soldier uniforms, US presidents' letters to some Filipino gov't officials, canons, old shoes, etc (stuffs during the Japanese occupation)

Way up!

That's the altar! :D View from halfway to the top

The view of the altar when we're almost at the top

The elevator within that giant cross is stuffed!

Scenic view. Romantiiiiic.

The sculptures are scaredovvvme. The weight of my appeal. Okay, I'm already haggard there from climbing all the way up. The wall behind me is a part of the giant cross.

We're inside the giant cross and we're going up to its arms! Cooool. 

We're in the arms of the giant cross! ITWASSSOOOCOOL UP THERE.

Scenic view from above

This round window (which was so in demand  to us for pictorials) is the other end of the cross' arms.

I'm enjoying the view and the really cool breeze! Mehe. The feels is like your in Eiffel Tower. I don't know tho, because never been to Paris. But the major effect of the giant cross is to be a place to view Bataan :)

Altar view from the cross' arm. This is how far we are from the a fourth from the top of the mountain

A monkey! I was surprised we'd find one, then I remembered we're on a mountain. I almost forgot because the place was already constructed in some way.

It's as if the leaves and branches are kissing the clouds and the skies. Wheeeew.

Beeeautiful. I wish that the regular roads I am walking onto are like this!

Hehe

We're on our way down. We took a different route from the ones we took to go up. That was a narrow zigzaggy staircase. This is a turny downward road

This is us! Abnormal Psychology class.

Trees. Lovely really. I was trying to suck the ambiance.

The cool road. I can imagine myself on a bike here, but that's impossible I don't know how to ride one. Ugggh. Romantiiiiic.

After the Mt. Samat stroll, we went to our real goal, to a mental hospital that accommodates patients from Central Luzon, the Mariveles Mental Hospital...

By the entrance.

It wasn't allowed to take pictures inside, so this is just one of the very few pictures we had there. It was cool there, not in the way, I'd want to be admitted there, but in a way that I've learned some things. I am a Psych major for some time now, but I'm still afraid of the possible violence from the mentally ill, but we found out that it wasn't like that. We had the opportunity to talk to some patients there, and it was pretty cool. :)

Yehey, another travel. Another place went to. Wow.

Places within the pages

I started to shrink to unreality these past few days.

When I say unreality, I mean dreams and imaginations or worse, places within the pages. Yes, I don't think they are good for the soul, well anyway, but they could be good, too. I don't really know.

People were given minds that could compensate for their ideas and ideals, so they should be maximized, not be slightly used and not be overused because both extremes could be dysfunctional. Anyway, yeah, I think I may be overusing this little brain sometimes, or probably I just have a huge brain especially made for me, 'cause as far as I am aware, I don't feel any screw loosening yet (And, I could contradict myself easily). Another anyway, I want to go to places I've never been, especially places that could hardly be real because I thought it would be romantic. When you say romantic, it doesn't have to be with a guy, right? A place could be called romantic even if there were no people there (or maybe because couples will actually love it being there? ugh. Devalues the worth).

I'll start with: RIGHT NOW I WANT TO GO PLACES I'VE NEVER BEEN. Imma rant this time.I want to go to Pemberley, to North Carolina (where, interestingly, I've found most love stories written), Green Gables, Maryland, where else, hunh? Oh yes, where was the Secret Garden located? I just wonder to what castle did Cinderella leave her slipper, or the coast roads where protagonists took their twists and turns. The house on the little prairie and other places where Laura Ingalls-Wilder spent her colorful youth. I'm thrilled just thinking about the Cemetery of the Books! Many else. What will I do there then? Just walk along these places and leave my footprints there, or probably live there for a week or two or a year or just a little while will do. Just try to witness what could have happened or what change would there be if a single feature from the place is located differently.

I don't want to imagine though that I am Lizzie Bennett or Anne Shirley, and try to mimic and live their lives. I just want to walk these places as myself rather than pretend be the characters I love. I don't know but I just don't feel like imagining I am a certain character, especially those that I love, it feels creepy and insane. Sometimes, I thought it would be better if I have been there for me to really be a part of the places and for my presence to be a part of other people's imaginations, but I realized I am doing a greater part being the thinker, being the one who imagines it all.

Aww, okay. My thoughts become so excited it explodes to randomness.

Sometimes, I think it does well to think of things which are alien to us, some of these, they really do exist. Of course, some of these are just imaginations. It doesn't do that because we don't see them, they are already fictional. Some exist somewhere within the wide earth, while some of these they do exist, but they are found within the worlds within our thoughts, and some were already part of what's past kept alive by memories and memoirs.

Someday, I know I will get to these places given the chances in life. Well, I could only go physically to the places which are literally real. And who knows who I'm going with. Hahaha

(As I was ending this blog post, I felt like there's music playing, probably the OST for Anne of Green Gables animated. Hahaha)

Some places in the classics (I don't know if the others are just replicas or they are the real ones):

ANNE SHIRLEY'S LIFE:

Anne's fictional room

Green Gables (fictional, I think)

Avonlea entrance

Road along Avonlea

Obviously, the places in Anne's life are my favorites. You've gotta read Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea to understand. Unfortunately, I haven't read the other books yet.

Here are others:

The ever dear SECRET GARDEN (fictional)

North Carolina beach

Little House on the Prairie (production design for the film, I think)

Pemberley (not sure if legit)