A Prayer to Fall

Love just doesn't lose... never loses its worth.

It's been a while now that I've started to pray that I'd just love, love with the purity of the heart, with the desire to know someone deeply and to understand imperfections. I started to pray this partly because of my fears. There are times when I'm afraid to fall. I'm afraid to not be loved in return and be hurt. But the adventurous person in me says otherwise. To love is a great adventure. Being hurt is part of that adventure. The uncertainty is a part of the adventure. Every single part of it is an adventure.

Now, there are times when I envy those who are wounded and hurt because they loved. I want to know what that's like. I know that if I experienced that brokenness, I'd have a glimpse of the character of the true Love. I'd have a small view on how He felt when He loved purely and has been rejected consecutively by every single person He loved. And that idea comforts me from my fears. I start to understand that Someone understands how I feel and well, He promised to be by me through my brokenness.

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Okay so...

Recently, there are things that made me wonder about how I'll deal with it when I started falling in love, er, romantically. It's crazy, I know! I'm afraid, yes. Really. But the thing is I started to think how I'll act on it. How should I feel? What should I do? Should I express myself freely?

Honestly, I've been thinking these thoughts prayerfully, then it was as if thoughts flooded me. I wrote these thoughts on my post prior to this one: When I love You. I was a bit surprised with this one, though. I know that I already knew these thoughts even from before. But these thoughts I knew haven't been really deeply engraved in me before.

I reread my post after I wrote it. There's something really weird in it. I read it again, and I started feeling a tightening in my chest. That whole thing... it's a message to me! I started to feel like crying. This is the thing about love. And it was like the greatest Lover was telling me these things. And it was as if He was telling me, "This is how I love you and this is how you should love."

It's really awesome that God speaks through my thoughts. And I experience His presence always, that He answers even the smallest questions I have in mind. The thing about love and the right ways to love was shown unto us with Jesus's demonstration:

Love selflessly. Love patiently. Love purely. Love boldly. Just love.